When Did I Get Old

I never used to think of myself as old. In fact most of the time I don't now. But what causes me to think I'm old? My grandfather died at 62. My mother died at 65. So my 63 years on this earth are probably going to account for most of the years I will spend here. Yet I still don't feel old. I just feel old some of the time.

I think I can blame it partly on my daughters, because sometime they treat me as if I am old. Jeanie made me feel old when she chastised me for climbing over a rail to get to a seat next to her at the ballpark. Said I might hurt myself. Those were comments I made to her when she was just a little girl. Like I didn't have years of experience to help me make the decision whether to go around or to climb over the rail. She didn't make the comment to make me feel old. She just wanted to keep me safe. But she didn't acknowledge my past experience. And yet walking with JJ & Jaydence to Dez's graducation from Tri County Tech last night, I tripped and fell over an expansion joint in the sidewalk. What does that say about my years of experience? I quit falling down at about age three.

I guess I feel old because my philosophies on life are not currently held by the majority. I still believe morality provides the best deterrent to crime and being moral enhances an individual's self-worth. Having self-respect and giving respect are still important to me. I believe that individuals and corporations need to be held accountable for their actions. These don't seem to be current philosophies and I sometimes feel old because they are still mine. I see kids being disrespectful to their parents, other adults, and their peers and their parents don't do anything about it. How can you respect yourself if you don't respect others? I see individuals who will blame everyone in the world for their own poor choices. I see adults hiding behind the courts and not accepting responsibility for their actions. I know the pendulum swings in both directions and that it will once again return so my philosophies are once again the current view, but I wish it would hurry and get back here. The world needs them today.

I think I am out of touch with the current youth, but I can sit down with my grandchildren and find common ground. And if I am honest with myself, there are some things I did in my youth that I am not proud of and would just as soon nobody learned about.

So maybe feeling old is recognizing differences in your values and the current generations values and recognizing that the way people treat you has changed.

My son-in-law John and grandson Jeremy, just bought motorcycles. JJ has wanted one for a long time. I keep telling them how dangerous they are. But looking back, the reason I can tell them how dangerous they are is because I laid one down coming home from work late one evening. So my attitudes are built on experiences and probably some biases too!