I never used to think of myself as old. In fact most of the time I don't now. But what causes me to think I'm old? My grandfather died at 62. My mother died at 65. So my 63 years on this earth are probably going to account for most of the years I will spend here. Yet I still don't feel old. I just feel old some of the time.
I think I can blame it partly on my daughters, because sometime they treat me as if I am old. Jeanie made me feel old when she chastised me for climbing over a rail to get to a seat next to her at the ballpark. Said I might hurt myself. Those were comments I made to her when she was just a little girl. Like I didn't have years of experience to help me make the decision whether to go around or to climb over the rail. She didn't make the comment to make me feel old. She just wanted to keep me safe. But she didn't acknowledge my past experience. And yet walking with JJ & Jaydence to Dez's graducation from Tri County Tech last night, I tripped and fell over an expansion joint in the sidewalk. What does that say about my years of experience? I quit falling down at about age three.
I guess I feel old because my philosophies on life are not currently held by the majority. I still believe morality provides the best deterrent to crime and being moral enhances an individual's self-worth. Having self-respect and giving respect are still important to me. I believe that individuals and corporations need to be held accountable for their actions. These don't seem to be current philosophies and I sometimes feel old because they are still mine. I see kids being disrespectful to their parents, other adults, and their peers and their parents don't do anything about it. How can you respect yourself if you don't respect others? I see individuals who will blame everyone in the world for their own poor choices. I see adults hiding behind the courts and not accepting responsibility for their actions. I know the pendulum swings in both directions and that it will once again return so my philosophies are once again the current view, but I wish it would hurry and get back here. The world needs them today.
I think I am out of touch with the current youth, but I can sit down with my grandchildren and find common ground. And if I am honest with myself, there are some things I did in my youth that I am not proud of and would just as soon nobody learned about.
So maybe feeling old is recognizing differences in your values and the current generations values and recognizing that the way people treat you has changed.
My son-in-law John and grandson Jeremy, just bought motorcycles. JJ has wanted one for a long time. I keep telling them how dangerous they are. But looking back, the reason I can tell them how dangerous they are is because I laid one down coming home from work late one evening. So my attitudes are built on experiences and probably some biases too!
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
2008 Graduation
My oldest grand-daughter will graduate this Friday evening from high school. It will seem more like an end to her than a beginning because a lot of individuals that love her have pushed the need for this accomplishment.
It has been tough getting to this point in her life. She is brilliant. Learning has always come easy to her. It seems unfair that one so gifted doesn't recognize the gift. She didn't appreciate the need for this accomplishment and I don't think she really appreciates how extraodianary this accomplishment is. I am certain that what seems un-important to her now will one day be recognized as important and what seem so important to her now will become less important to her over time. As I said, it was tough getting her to this point. While learning is easy for her, she has had her own struggles to overcome. Long talks, negotiations, coersion, and bribery were used to insure that she didn't drop out. In addition, we need to acknowledge the love, patience, dedication of an amazing set of teachers that kept reaching out to her. But this is Dez's accomplishment, not mine, not her mother's, not her teachers. She has worked hard for this, putting in time she would rather have used elsewhere. We make life a lot harder for ourselves than God intended and it's taken me a lifetime to realize just how much easier it could have been. I guess each generation has to learn that for themselves.
I believe there are some basic tenets to a happy life. Setting goals and working to achieve them is one of them. Receiving your high school diploma should be one of those goals.
I hope that it won't be long before she sees this as a beginning. She now has been equipped to take her education to the next level. That further education will separate her from the crowd of individuals trying to make their mark in the world. Her graduation from high school has already set her apart from a mass of individuals that didn't have or didn't take the opportunity for a high school education. Further education will enhance her mental, social, and technical skills to make her independent; physically, financially, and mentally. It will provide her the tools to discern what is not "what it seems" in this world from advertising to religion and to make smarter choices.
So Dez, I want you to know I am proud of you. You overcame the devils in your life, used your gifts, and achieved the goal. Maybe not your goal, but at least one of your Mom's and mine. I recognize that to a certain extent you did this not for yourself but for your mom and me. Congratulations on a job well done and thank you. Now it is time to set the next goal. If you let it, life will just happen. You've been given a limited time on this earth, so don't let time just slip a way. Decide what you want to do, and do it. Don't wait around hoping it will happen. Make it happen for you and your daughter. I love you. Grandpa
Last week Devin received his associate degree from Haskell in Lawrence, KS. One of my greatest disappointments will be that I didn't get to attend that graduation. He is well on his way to earning a degree in Engineering. He has been accepted and plans to transfer to Oklahoma State University next year. It pleases me that he is going to my alma mater, but for the life of me I don't know why. He has shown interest in joining a fraternity. He should be a prime catch for one of them. Did I mention that his associate degree came with summa cum laude honors. I was a good student in college (except for one semester), but I never even dreamed of carrying a perfect 4.0 grade point average throughout my college career. He and Dez attest to the brilliance that runs in the family. Devin is a thoughtful, insightful, intelligent, loving guy whom always seems more concerned about others than himself. Though he was compensated for it, he spent his free time tutoring other students at Haskell. Those students will benefit from his help a lot more that just the grade they received in the class with which they struggled. They met an example to follow for the rest of their lives.
So Devin, know that I am proud of you also. I admire a person who sets a goal for himself and quiety goes about accomplishing it. I admire that you strove not only to achieve your goal but to achieve it with excellence. I admire you for the love you show others. Though your intellect and drive will take you a long way toward success in this life, your carrying spirit will be what people remember you for. You've got your head on straight, priorities in line, and a great future ahead of you. I love you. Grandpa
It has been tough getting to this point in her life. She is brilliant. Learning has always come easy to her. It seems unfair that one so gifted doesn't recognize the gift. She didn't appreciate the need for this accomplishment and I don't think she really appreciates how extraodianary this accomplishment is. I am certain that what seems un-important to her now will one day be recognized as important and what seem so important to her now will become less important to her over time. As I said, it was tough getting her to this point. While learning is easy for her, she has had her own struggles to overcome. Long talks, negotiations, coersion, and bribery were used to insure that she didn't drop out. In addition, we need to acknowledge the love, patience, dedication of an amazing set of teachers that kept reaching out to her. But this is Dez's accomplishment, not mine, not her mother's, not her teachers. She has worked hard for this, putting in time she would rather have used elsewhere. We make life a lot harder for ourselves than God intended and it's taken me a lifetime to realize just how much easier it could have been. I guess each generation has to learn that for themselves.
I believe there are some basic tenets to a happy life. Setting goals and working to achieve them is one of them. Receiving your high school diploma should be one of those goals.
I hope that it won't be long before she sees this as a beginning. She now has been equipped to take her education to the next level. That further education will separate her from the crowd of individuals trying to make their mark in the world. Her graduation from high school has already set her apart from a mass of individuals that didn't have or didn't take the opportunity for a high school education. Further education will enhance her mental, social, and technical skills to make her independent; physically, financially, and mentally. It will provide her the tools to discern what is not "what it seems" in this world from advertising to religion and to make smarter choices.
So Dez, I want you to know I am proud of you. You overcame the devils in your life, used your gifts, and achieved the goal. Maybe not your goal, but at least one of your Mom's and mine. I recognize that to a certain extent you did this not for yourself but for your mom and me. Congratulations on a job well done and thank you. Now it is time to set the next goal. If you let it, life will just happen. You've been given a limited time on this earth, so don't let time just slip a way. Decide what you want to do, and do it. Don't wait around hoping it will happen. Make it happen for you and your daughter. I love you. Grandpa
Last week Devin received his associate degree from Haskell in Lawrence, KS. One of my greatest disappointments will be that I didn't get to attend that graduation. He is well on his way to earning a degree in Engineering. He has been accepted and plans to transfer to Oklahoma State University next year. It pleases me that he is going to my alma mater, but for the life of me I don't know why. He has shown interest in joining a fraternity. He should be a prime catch for one of them. Did I mention that his associate degree came with summa cum laude honors. I was a good student in college (except for one semester), but I never even dreamed of carrying a perfect 4.0 grade point average throughout my college career. He and Dez attest to the brilliance that runs in the family. Devin is a thoughtful, insightful, intelligent, loving guy whom always seems more concerned about others than himself. Though he was compensated for it, he spent his free time tutoring other students at Haskell. Those students will benefit from his help a lot more that just the grade they received in the class with which they struggled. They met an example to follow for the rest of their lives.
So Devin, know that I am proud of you also. I admire a person who sets a goal for himself and quiety goes about accomplishing it. I admire that you strove not only to achieve your goal but to achieve it with excellence. I admire you for the love you show others. Though your intellect and drive will take you a long way toward success in this life, your carrying spirit will be what people remember you for. You've got your head on straight, priorities in line, and a great future ahead of you. I love you. Grandpa
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